Post the following here:
• the prompt assignment you chose (Spell out the actual prompt.)
• the title of your piece here
• a link to your piece on the YWP website. (Do not post your actual piece here.)
I really enjoyed reading your Young Writers Project piece. I would have never thought to write about making a paper airplane in class when I heard a prompt about wind. But I think that that made your piece so much more unique, and I loved how you tied the wind into the open window redirecting your plane’s flight. The way you wrote it made it tell a story, and as I was reading it, I really felt like I was inside the student’s head, contemplating many of the same choices they were considering. And as a student, I can relate to many of the examples you used. I have definitely been told we were having a fascinating lecture but then not really taking a whole lot away from it and scrambling when being told to write down something I heard learned. Congratulations on getting published!
The way you interpreted this prompt was really cool. I would never have connected the wind with a paper airplane. I also appreciated the narration throughout the story, especially in the beginning, with the description of the class and feeling of boredom, as it is something I have related to many times before. The way you chose to end your story was fun to read as well. The suspenseful, funny cliff hanger the story closes on was great!
I love the way you developed the story and how we got into your character's mind. It was interesting to read the thought process of someone who decides to make a paper airplane and I loved the way the character meticulously thought out every decision: draw or fold? fold what? what is the target? Then, the calculations are wrong because of a dropped variable (the open window) and we're left with a sense of impending doom. Another great thing is that the concept of boredom is something we can all relate to. Everybody can think of a subject in a class they took at some point in their life that is less interesting than the notecard.
Lily, I really enjoyed reading your poem. I like how you started every stanza with If Only and for three stanzas you kept the same rhythm or pattern in your writing. The other thing I liked when reading your poem was the plot twist at the end. It was so sudden yet very well written.
I agree with Mack about the twist and his comments on the form. Your poem has a strong rhythm and is very suspenseful. I found myself leaping ahead to fill in the blank for "... then...." It captures that crazy-making fantasy of trying to re-write history by changing just one thing that could have avoided catastrophe. Knowing you, it leaves me eager to know if this happened to you?
Ben Acker Mack, I remember watching the youtube video by Dude Perfect of them setting the world record back in 2018 and thinking to myself, “I could do that”. I think your training idea is great and will surely lead to a world record title. I never thought about Dude Perfect's message before but I think that you're absolutely right, all of their crazy trickshots and challenges support perseverance as a theme. That and the idea of delayed gratification. I noticed that every member of Dude Perfect chose a different tactic when they walked on legos or did anything else in their videos. I'm wondering, if you were to walk the one hundred and forty seven plus strip of legos, what would your approach be? Would you run? Would you tip-toe or walk on your heels? If it were me I would shuffle that way the legos wouldn't touch the bottom of my feet, just brush over the top. Is that allowed?
Walking on legos for the farthest distance? Not necessarily the record I’d want to break but it sounds quite interesting. I can’t help but wonder if it would really hurt that bad. I mean, imagine you are walking around the house and you feel a sharp pain in your foot. That comes from it being one lego, under the ball of your foot without expecting it. Would knowing that you are going to step on legos diminish this pain? This question brings me to your idea of mental preparation for this task. How you would work through the pain because the outcome of breaking a world record would be worth it. But I wonder if you wouldn’t even need to “overcome the pain” because being ready for it would actually make it hurt less.
probably not the first record that i would try to break but hey, at least you aren't eating more that two bikes.i agree that breaking a record is something that every person should try weather in a sport or a any other record it is always important to push your limits. you should really watch eddy the eagle the movie and his video about breaking the toboggan jump world record it sums everything up very well .
Ben Acker Invention. Have you ever thought to yourself, “Wait a minute… why isn’t that a thing already?” Explain your product or idea to the world. My invention https://youngwritersproject.org/node/32832
Ben, I think that your idea of a Swiss Army knife but for getting ready is a great one! I too have the same problem of taking too long to get ready in the morning or at night. I agree that showering, washing your face and brushing take way too long, so having something that could do that for me in a shorter amount of time would make life easier. I think that your idea is a great one and you should pursue it because it will make the stress in many people's life from getting ready in the morning go away.
This is very funny to imagine, Ben. I can picture an animated demonstration of this device. It somehow feels like a Dr. Seuss kind of invention! Hopefully some of that time pressure is relieved while we are all working from home....
Jessica S. This invention sounds like a super fun idea to me and one I would definitely find useful in my life. At night I always spend way too long in the bathroom preparing for bed, and it’s even worse when it’s late and I’m already super tired and then have to take an additional 20 minutes to get ready. If everything I needed was in one place like your invention suggests, it would be so much more convenient. I agree with Mack that you should pursue this invention because it could really help prevent a lot of stress and provide more time to do other productive things.
Ben, I think this idea is very genius. I am sometimes not motivated in the morning or at night to do these tasks, although I kind of have to if I don't wanna end up all disgusting. I loved how you explained your invention like you were talking face to face with someone, it made it so much more enjoyable to read, and I felt like you were talking to me face to face. This invention would make life so much easier! It reminds me of an As Seen on TV product. Like Phil Swift and his Flex Seal, I could totally imagine you going on a TV add and demonstrating the way you use it. This invention will definitely cut my morning routine time in half and you should definitely consider making this a reality.
This is a super interesting idea, Tate. From the very limited knowledge I have of nuclear decay, everything you said seems like it would work, and buy us much needed time, like you said. If it would work, why wouldn’t it be a viable solution in the long term? I also wonder if all the N14 produced by the carbon’s decay would cause other issues in the atmosphere. It would be cool if it didn’t cause any, though, and if you really just solved climate change.
From my even more limited knowledge of nuclear decay, I couldn't say whether this is viable, but I admire the out-of-the-box thinking! How exactly would you propose to "shoot" the neutrons? Can you imagine a chain reaction in any unintended directions? Keep the ideas coming, Darth Nyan. -SDG
Tate, your opinion about climate change relates a lot to mine. I have little to no knowledge about isotopes and Decay cycles of Carbon and Nitrogen, but I can tell you know what your talking about and could possibly help me to better understand what needs to be done for climate change to stop. I've always been interested in helping the environment, and your YWP is helping me in the right direction to understanding it. Why wouldn't something like this be a viable long-term solution? I think your ideas are very smart, and you should keep thinking about great things to save the planet.
This is a very interesting idea and there are actually many ideas that would have a similar effect but there is actually a reason that none of them have been implemented. The reason for this is because they fall under what is called environmental engineering. This is the engineering of the climate for a desired effect. This is very controversial because we all share the climate and if the engineering done by one nation has any negative effects it will affect all of the people on earth. This is not ok which is why the UN has banned it. I hope an idea comes along that does not fall under this but until then we are stuck trying to reduce our footprint.
Jessica S. I really enjoyed reading your piece. I felt like I could really connect to it. As a child, and even still now, I always get excited making plans to go to the fair with all my friends when we should be studying, or noticing all the people at the carnival, or what rides there are, and for me you really captured those aspects very well. I also really liked your use of imagery. The half eaten corn cobs, trash, and description of what the workers were wearing, put a very clear image in my mind as if I was there too. Adding at the end that the carnival ended up being completely run by raccoons was a really fun creative idea and I think it added some nice humor to your piece as well.
The end of the rainbow is a myth, right? Through poetry or prose, write about someone who happens upon that great meeting of earth and color (literally or figuratively). What do they see, what do they feel?
A Magic Feeling https://youngwritersproject.org/node/32806
I can't think of a place I'd rather be on a gray March day like today than your meeting of rainbow and earth. Have you considered including this in your anthology? Also, do you know the poems of Mary Oliver? -SDG
I like this idea. Have you noticed the use of solar for powering roadside emergency phones and highway department signs? I encourage you to research the technical dimensions of solar generation, power transmission to places where it's needed, and cost. This looks like a good website (if a bit advanced to interpret!): https://solartaskforce.vermont.gov/
I really like your perspective on solar power. I like how you acknowledge that sometimes it seems like a great idea and sometimes it doesn't. I also noticed that you take a very conversational tone throughout the piece. There are a lot of sentences that were second guessing the previous one. Is this intentional? Are you trying to have the piece flow as if we're sitting on a park bench in the summer talking? If so you've done a great job doing it!
Have you ever heard of a "Dyson Sphere"? It's an interesting concept for solar electricity that would be long term sustainable and would provide a reliable source of energy. It is resource intensive, though. The idea is a ring of solar panels circling the earth outside the atmosphere so they don't have to worry about clouds. The power generated by the solar panels is then sent down to earth by some means (probably a set of gigantic cables).
so i cant get into my account and have been trying for days so here it is
Last summer sometime in august I got a call from my old teacher. She ran a bed and breakfast and had an astronomer staying there that was going to be setting up a telescope the next evening. At first I wasn't that interested but I decided to say yes anyway “how bad could it be. I thought” the next evening after it got dark I walked over to her house and in the front yard was the telescope. I have looked through telescopes before and seen some pretty big ones but this was huge. It was 12 feet tall and you needed a ladder to get to the eyepiece. After ten or so more minutes of setting it up, the astronomer trained it in an old supernova site that happened millions of years ago. I didn't really know what I was expecting to see but when I climbed the ladder and looked in it blew my mind. Through the lense I could see a perfect ring of dust, sparkling like snow on a cold morning. All of this was sitting in the night sky and I never knew it was there. For the next three hours I looked through the telescope. I saw stars in the process of being born, I saw massive dust clouds, dying stars and a hundred or so other phenomenons. They were the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. You can look at pictures from satellite telescopes but seeing it for yourself in person is entirely different. There are entire worlds out there that I never knew existed and only a couple of people have ever looked at them.
Ben Acker Tobin, If I am being honest i'm a little jealous. Thats so cool that your teacher gave you that opportunity. I've looked through telescopes before and been blown away but never a telescope that big, I can't imagine how pretty the sky looked. I like how you began your story not wanting to go and by the end, after you looked through the telescope, you were thinking about entire worlds that only exist through a telescope. I especially appreciated when you said, "all of this was sitting in the night sky and I never knew it was there". Our perspective in so crazy to think about because of how small we are compared to the things through the telescope.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWind:Tell a story in which the wind, or maybe just a breeze, plays a critical role.
ReplyDeletePaperwind Plane
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/31741
I really enjoyed reading your Young Writers Project piece. I would have never thought to write about making a paper airplane in class when I heard a prompt about wind. But I think that that made your piece so much more unique, and I loved how you tied the wind into the open window redirecting your plane’s flight. The way you wrote it made it tell a story, and as I was reading it, I really felt like I was inside the student’s head, contemplating many of the same choices they were considering. And as a student, I can relate to many of the examples you used. I have definitely been told we were having a fascinating lecture but then not really taking a whole lot away from it and scrambling when being told to write down something I heard learned. Congratulations on getting published!
DeleteThe way you interpreted this prompt was really cool. I would never have connected the wind with a paper airplane. I also appreciated the narration throughout the story, especially in the beginning, with the description of the class and feeling of boredom, as it is something I have related to many times before. The way you chose to end your story was fun to read as well. The suspenseful, funny cliff hanger the story closes on was great!
DeleteI love the way you developed the story and how we got into your character's mind. It was interesting to read the thought process of someone who decides to make a paper airplane and I loved the way the character meticulously thought out every decision: draw or fold? fold what? what is the target? Then, the calculations are wrong because of a dropped variable (the open window) and we're left with a sense of impending doom. Another great thing is that the concept of boredom is something we can all relate to. Everybody can think of a subject in a class they took at some point in their life that is less interesting than the notecard.
DeleteReach. Begin or end a story or poem with, “If only I could reach a little farther ...”
ReplyDeleteIf Only
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/32145
Lily, I really enjoyed reading your poem. I like how you started every stanza with If Only and for three stanzas you kept the same rhythm or pattern in your writing. The other thing I liked when reading your poem was the plot twist at the end. It was so sudden yet very well written.
DeleteI agree with Mack about the twist and his comments on the form. Your poem has a strong rhythm and is very suspenseful. I found myself leaping ahead to fill in the blank for "... then...." It captures that crazy-making fantasy of trying to re-write history by changing just one thing that could have avoided catastrophe. Knowing you, it leaves me eager to know if this happened to you?
DeleteRecord. If you could break any world record, what would it be an how would you do it?
ReplyDeleteThe Longest Walk on Legos
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/32741
Ben Acker
DeleteMack, I remember watching the youtube video by Dude Perfect of them setting the world record back in 2018 and thinking to myself, “I could do that”. I think your training idea is great and will surely lead to a world record title. I never thought about Dude Perfect's message before but I think that you're absolutely right, all of their crazy trickshots and challenges support perseverance as a theme. That and the idea of delayed gratification. I noticed that every member of Dude Perfect chose a different tactic when they walked on legos or did anything else in their videos. I'm wondering, if you were to walk the one hundred and forty seven plus strip of legos, what would your approach be? Would you run? Would you tip-toe or walk on your heels? If it were me I would shuffle that way the legos wouldn't touch the bottom of my feet, just brush over the top. Is that allowed?
Ben Acker
DeleteStarry. Write a poem or story that features a starry night and a surprising discovery.
Star Gazing
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/32793
Walking on legos for the farthest distance? Not necessarily the record I’d want to break but it sounds quite interesting. I can’t help but wonder if it would really hurt that bad. I mean, imagine you are walking around the house and you feel a sharp pain in your foot. That comes from it being one lego, under the ball of your foot without expecting it. Would knowing that you are going to step on legos diminish this pain? This question brings me to your idea of mental preparation for this task. How you would work through the pain because the outcome of breaking a world record would be worth it. But I wonder if you wouldn’t even need to “overcome the pain” because being ready for it would actually make it hurt less.
Deleteprobably not the first record that i would try to break but hey, at least you aren't eating more that two bikes.i agree that breaking a record is something that every person should try weather in a sport or a any other record it is always important to push your limits. you should really watch eddy the eagle the movie and his video about breaking the toboggan jump world record it sums everything up very well .
DeleteBen Acker
ReplyDeleteInvention. Have you ever thought to yourself, “Wait a minute… why isn’t that a thing already?” Explain your product or idea to the world.
My invention
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/32832
Ben, I think that your idea of a Swiss Army knife but for getting ready is a great one! I too have the same problem of taking too long to get ready in the morning or at night. I agree that showering, washing your face and brushing take way too long, so having something that could do that for me in a shorter amount of time would make life easier. I think that your idea is a great one and you should pursue it because it will make the stress in many people's life from getting ready in the morning go away.
DeleteThis is very funny to imagine, Ben. I can picture an animated demonstration of this device. It somehow feels like a Dr. Seuss kind of invention! Hopefully some of that time pressure is relieved while we are all working from home....
DeleteJessica S.
DeleteThis invention sounds like a super fun idea to me and one I would definitely find useful in my life. At night I always spend way too long in the bathroom preparing for bed, and it’s even worse when it’s late and I’m already super tired and then have to take an additional 20 minutes to get ready. If everything I needed was in one place like your invention suggests, it would be so much more convenient. I agree with Mack that you should pursue this invention because it could really help prevent a lot of stress and provide more time to do other productive things.
Ben, I think this idea is very genius. I am sometimes not motivated in the morning or at night to do these tasks, although I kind of have to if I don't wanna end up all disgusting. I loved how you explained your invention like you were talking face to face with someone, it made it so much more enjoyable to read, and I felt like you were talking to me face to face. This invention would make life so much easier! It reminds me of an As Seen on TV product. Like Phil Swift and his Flex Seal, I could totally imagine you going on a TV add and demonstrating the way you use it. This invention will definitely cut my morning routine time in half and you should definitely consider making this a reality.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteInvention: Have you ever thought to yourself, "Wait a minute... why isn't that a thing already?"
ReplyDeleteThe Solution is Staring Us Straight in the Face
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/32879
This is a super interesting idea, Tate. From the very limited knowledge I have of nuclear decay, everything you said seems like it would work, and buy us much needed time, like you said. If it would work, why wouldn’t it be a viable solution in the long term? I also wonder if all the N14 produced by the carbon’s decay would cause other issues in the atmosphere. It would be cool if it didn’t cause any, though, and if you really just solved climate change.
DeleteFrom my even more limited knowledge of nuclear decay, I couldn't say whether this is viable, but I admire the out-of-the-box thinking! How exactly would you propose to "shoot" the neutrons? Can you imagine a chain reaction in any unintended directions? Keep the ideas coming, Darth Nyan. -SDG
DeleteTate, your opinion about climate change relates a lot to mine. I have little to no knowledge about isotopes and Decay cycles of Carbon and Nitrogen, but I can tell you know what your talking about and could possibly help me to better understand what needs to be done for climate change to stop. I've always been interested in helping the environment, and your YWP is helping me in the right direction to understanding it. Why wouldn't something like this be a viable long-term solution? I think your ideas are very smart, and you should keep thinking about great things to save the planet.
DeleteThis is a very interesting idea and there are actually many ideas that would have a similar effect but there is actually a reason that none of them have been implemented. The reason for this is because they fall under what is called environmental engineering. This is the engineering of the climate for a desired effect. This is very controversial because we all share the climate and if the engineering done by one nation has any negative effects it will affect all of the people on earth. This is not ok which is why the UN has banned it. I hope an idea comes along that does not fall under this but until then we are stuck trying to reduce our footprint.
DeleteA small carnival rolls into town unexpectedly, causing an excited stir – but something doesn’t feel right to you. What’s going on behind the scenes?
ReplyDeleteCarnival
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/32990
Jessica S.
DeleteI really enjoyed reading your piece. I felt like I could really connect to it. As a child, and even still now, I always get excited making plans to go to the fair with all my friends when we should be studying, or noticing all the people at the carnival, or what rides there are, and for me you really captured those aspects very well. I also really liked your use of imagery. The half eaten corn cobs, trash, and description of what the workers were wearing, put a very clear image in my mind as if I was there too. Adding at the end that the carnival ended up being completely run by raccoons was a really fun creative idea and I think it added some nice humor to your piece as well.
Jessica S.
ReplyDeleteThe end of the rainbow is a myth, right? Through poetry or prose, write about someone who happens upon that great meeting of earth and color (literally or figuratively). What do they see, what do they feel?
A Magic Feeling
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/32806
I can't think of a place I'd rather be on a gray March day like today than your meeting of rainbow and earth. Have you considered including this in your anthology? Also, do you know the poems of Mary Oliver? -SDG
ReplyDeleteLiam Patterson
ReplyDeleteHave you ever thought to yourself, “Wait a minute… why isn’t that a thing already?” Explain your product or idea to the world.
Solar Powered Utility Poll
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/33216
I like this idea. Have you noticed the use of solar for powering roadside emergency phones and highway department signs? I encourage you to research the technical dimensions of solar generation, power transmission to places where it's needed, and cost. This looks like a good website (if a bit advanced to interpret!): https://solartaskforce.vermont.gov/
DeleteI really like your perspective on solar power. I like how you acknowledge that sometimes it seems like a great idea and sometimes it doesn't. I also noticed that you take a very conversational tone throughout the piece. There are a lot of sentences that were second guessing the previous one. Is this intentional? Are you trying to have the piece flow as if we're sitting on a park bench in the summer talking? If so you've done a great job doing it!
DeleteHave you ever heard of a "Dyson Sphere"? It's an interesting concept for solar electricity that would be long term sustainable and would provide a reliable source of energy. It is resource intensive, though. The idea is a ring of solar panels circling the earth outside the atmosphere so they don't have to worry about clouds. The power generated by the solar panels is then sent down to earth by some means (probably a set of gigantic cables).
so i cant get into my account and have been trying for days so here it is
ReplyDeleteLast summer sometime in august I got a call from my old teacher. She ran a bed and breakfast and had an astronomer staying there that was going to be setting up a telescope the next evening. At first I wasn't that interested but I decided to say yes anyway “how bad could it be. I thought” the next evening after it got dark I walked over to her house and in the front yard was the telescope. I have looked through telescopes before and seen some pretty big ones but this was huge. It was 12 feet tall and you needed a ladder to get to the eyepiece. After ten or so more minutes of setting it up, the astronomer trained it in an old supernova site that happened millions of years ago. I didn't really know what I was expecting to see but when I climbed the ladder and looked in it blew my mind. Through the lense I could see a perfect ring of dust, sparkling like snow on a cold morning. All of this was sitting in the night sky and I never knew it was there.
For the next three hours I looked through the telescope. I saw stars in the process of being born, I saw massive dust clouds, dying stars and a hundred or so other phenomenons. They were the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. You can look at pictures from satellite telescopes but seeing it for yourself in person is entirely different. There are entire worlds out there that I never knew existed and only a couple of people have ever looked at them.
Ben Acker
DeleteTobin, If I am being honest i'm a little jealous. Thats so cool that your teacher gave you that opportunity. I've looked through telescopes before and been blown away but never a telescope that big, I can't imagine how pretty the sky looked. I like how you began your story not wanting to go and by the end, after you looked through the telescope, you were thinking about entire worlds that only exist through a telescope. I especially appreciated when you said, "all of this was sitting in the night sky and I never knew it was there". Our perspective in so crazy to think about because of how small we are compared to the things through the telescope.